
This post is for Amy and Anita who very quickly replied to my Let’s Talk! post that they wanted to hear about potty training! I trained three boys, so my advice will be leaning towards the little guys, but moms of girls might benefit here too!
All of my boys trained at different times and in different ways. And I think that’s true with every child, they are all different! My oldest, Chandler, was completely trained by 2 years old. I showed him the potty, he went and he never had an accident! I thought I must be the pro of potty training…boy was I wrong! Along came our middle son, Chase, who was happy to sit in poo all day long. Really! He was! He was finally trained just before his fourth birthday…yeah, yikes. Then there was our littlest little guy, Charlie, who learned along with Chase (since he took soooo long). He was trained by three years old.
NOW…since I basically potty trained for about two years of my life, I kinda figured out what works and what doesn’t. So here’s what I found…
What WORKS:
Praise – Nothing motivates a child like a little praise! I found that a little praise and encouragement would keep them, well, going! Whereas pointing out their failures would just hinder them. So if there was an accident, we would just clean it up and say in a cheery voice, “You’ll get there faster next time!” And when there was success, we would act like crazy people, plain and simple! And they loved that!
Rewards – This was the biggest part of potty training for us! The rewards are what got us to the end result with Chase. What we did is filled a glass jar with jelly beans and set them on the bathroom counter. Every time they would go pee, they would get one jelly bean. Every time they went poop, they would get two. This worked perfect for Chandler who trained quite easily. The candy was a HUGE motivator because I hardly ever give my kids candy. One tip, just don’t think about the amount of sugar they have eaten by the time the jar is empty, just don’t do it! If you are not keen on candy, maybe pennies or stickers would work (we tried those too). As for my more difficult little guy, the candy was not cutting it. He simply told me one day, “I don’t want to go pee, I don’t want any candy anyway.” Uhhhh…yeaaahhh. So we came up with another plan. We let Chase search the internet at our favorite toy site and pick any toy (within reason!) that he wanted. We then printed the picture and attached to a chart that we hung on the wall. Every day that he stayed dry, he got a sticker. At the end of seven days, he got the toy! It took him some time, mind you, but he was almost four by that time so he understood what it all meant. That idea would probably not work with a two year old.
Nakedness – What?! Is that not a perfectly good potty training technique? Well, it was in our house! For about one week straight, I blockaded myself in the play room with the boys completely stark naked. OK, let me clarify, THEY were the naked ones…ahem. We played and read books and they became increasingly aware of themselves “down there”. I kept a potty chair in there with me and when the pee started to dribble, we were ready! We would then reward with a piece of candy. After that week, we put on underwear and roamed the house more freely. By the third week, we were wearing full on clothing and staying dry most of the time! (That’s where the toy reward chart came in!)
What DOES NOT Work:
Pull Ups – I did not have good luck with using pull ups. I would put them on the boys when we had to venture out for Church or to the store, and at bed time at first, but that was it. I felt like it was too close to using diapers.
Trying too soon – I think this is what I did with Chase. I figured since Chandler trained at two, that Chase would too. Wrong! I should have waited several months longer and it may not have been such a loooong fight. You know your child is ready to train when they are staying dry through naps and bedtime and they are telling you that they are wet or dirty and not liking it! At that point, I started using very cheap diapers. The good ones keep them dry and comfy, the cheap ones kept them uncomfortable and wanting to be changed. Then I knew they were ready, because they cared!
Inconsistency – Once you decide to train, don’t back down! You HAVE to be consistent, you HAVE to!!! If you find that there are more accidents than successes and your carpets can’t take it any longer and the empty bottles of wine are stacking up in your recycling bin, then take a break and try again in a month. But while you are trying, give it your all!
OK, so I think that’s it. Got it? Good! Good luck, by the way, you’re gonna need it! Feel free to ask me more questions about this or other parenting questions ( I happen to be good at the mom of boys ones). Email me at tasha@bellazizasfavorites.com or twitter me @BellazizaTasha!
Tasha